I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
