she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Just puked most of my soul out..
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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