I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
