why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
