If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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