it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
