would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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