You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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