Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
