dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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