these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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