What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
