well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
