i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Blow job season was short but glorious.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
