I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
