I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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