I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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