Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
birth control should be required to get into college
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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