so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
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When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
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You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
This toilet bowl is my home.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize