you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
