someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
4 words: hood of his car
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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