I wanna bring you to show and tell
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
