I cockslap morals
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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