It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
