everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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