I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
