Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
this will be a night to untag.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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