I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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