it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
