very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
