ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
