this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
