Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
