i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
