My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
