i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
