so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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