Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Randomize