Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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