Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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