She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
This is my life. Enjoy the view
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
