im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
