Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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