At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
