I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
