I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
it's like heaven, but drunker
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
not ubering you a puppy
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
