hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
