the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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