You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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