doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
you will always have a special place in my vag
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
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