Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
