He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
