We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
