so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
do herpes really smell.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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