im gay
i know
yea but for you.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Drunk is not a location!
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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