i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
