I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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