also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize