im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
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there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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