i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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