I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
