I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
