did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
