Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
