Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
May the power of my ass compel you!!
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity