i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
