Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...