After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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